The days of our lives of Ikuei part three

It was valentines day, everything was supposed to be perfect. The previous day I had made some chocolates for him and I was going to give it to him after school. I got more and more nervous as the school day was coming to an end. I grabbed Crazy Girl and we ran to the third floor of west wing. She was waiting somewhere while I went and knocked the door of his class. Someone opened the door. I didn't even see who it was, actually I wasn't even paying attention. I waved my hand to him, and for some reason I feel like I looked angry then. No wonder he looked so confused... I quickly gave him the chocolates said "happy valentines day" he answered to me "thank you" but I was already running away. I heard people shouting in the classroom. I said to the Crazy Girl "Did you hear all that screaming" and she answered "Yeah, It sounded like they were saying that 'finally she did something'". I just laughed. With the chocolate box I gave him a letter. It was in English but I knew somebody would translate it to him.

Dear Chinese boy I was happy about your letter, thank you very much. About the thing that I said the other day, please forget about that. Since you don't feel the same way, I don't want to trouble you any more than I already have. If I can be just friends with you, I would be really happy. 一飞

While I was in the teachers lounge, I suddenly felt my phone vibrating. He was calling me. I panicked but I answered. He told me that he was really happy and he said thank you a lot for the chocolates. Then something happened. He said something that I really wasn't expecting. My eyes turned wide and I didn't notice what was happening around me. The words that he said struck me hard, like a lightning from a perfectly clear sky. He said "If you love me, I love you". The next thing I noticed was Tuke poking me. I woke up. I said to him the words that I had said to him before, when he was the one being silent. I loved him so much. My chest was hurting and tears were almost coming out of my eyes. I was happy, really happy. Too bad that happiness didn't last for long. The next day I saw him. I was with my friends at the convenience store when I saw him. I went to say hi but I panicked and left right away. I watched him leaving but I couldn't do anything except cry. I felt so bad that I had ignored everything like that. And the next day it happened again. I saw him. He was surrounded by all of the other exchange students so of course I didn't have the courage to go and talk to him. All the Chinese kids were staring at me and smiling, and I could hear some of them saying my name and talking about me. After I left I was so sad about my panicking, and Tuke made me feel even worse. He said that I was getting really annoying , then I hit him and I cried. I think he realized what he had done at that point and he tried to calm me down. The next day I had decided to call him. I really wanted to see him so I was planning to ask him to go for a walk with me. He didn’t pick up. I spent the whole day worrying that my panicking might have caused him not to like me anymore. I waited and waited but nothing happened. So I called him again. This time he answered. I asked him how he was doing and I told him I wanted to see him that day and he said ”i know”. I said I couldn’t go talk to him because his friends were there and it was a bit embarrassing. He just laughed. Since then I have been wondering about the ”I know” that he said. If he knew that, why didn’t he call me back. Why didn’t he talk to me. He said he loved me... The next day I didn't even see him, but it was okay. On saturday however I called him. I was going to ask him out on Sunday, but he didn't pick up. And never called me back of course, that bastard. On sunday I was just really depressed and so was the Crazy Girl who had just broken up with someone. There were two broken hearts there that day. Later that evening I called him again. This time he picked up. I asked if he was busy after school on Monday and he just said that "yes, I'm busy". I've had enough, I thought and said goodbye to him. I couldn't continue that anymore, I gave up. The next day I was really depressed again. I kept making everybody angry with me. They didn't want to listen to me anymore so I decided to shut up about it. It still made me wonder. These friends didn't want to listen to me anymore, so were these really my friends. I started crying and Ms.Texas came to console me. I cried and cried. It hurt so much. I felt my heart breaking to a million pieces. Then something happened. Tuke, who has always been so mean to me, bought hot chocolate for me. It made me really happy. I always thought that he hated me. Later in the evening the Crazy Girl told me that Tuke was really mad at the Chinese boy and was worried about me. Then I thought to myself, there was a good friend.

21.02.2011